R

So in the last 3 months, R has told me he loved me, told me he would have kids with me, broke up with his most recent gf and as of last week we aren't even talking... Some where in between now and 3 months ago, I have caused my best friend so much stress that he doesn't want to talk to me. Not that he has said that he doesn't want to talk to me, but he doesn't. If he did we would have talked by now. Since January, this is the longest we have gone without talking. We didn't talk for 2 months before that because I was upset that he was dating the ex db1 not to be confused with ex wife db2. He says he's busy, but he's never been so busy he had no time to talk at all.

I just want to go back to the days when getting calls from me made his day. I want to get back to being the person that makes him feel better. I want my R back. I want to feel like I make his life better. When he says I love you, his voice drops and he gets quiet and he changes his tone. Its totally different from when we would say love you as friends. Totally different. Sometimes I think he only believes that he feels that way because I helped him get past db2. He needed me and I was there. I think that part of him feels the way because I was there for him during a dramatic time in his life. I would really love for him to mean everything he's said. I really hope he does mean it.

I want my best friend back. Regardless. I don't know how to fix this but I have to. I miss him so much and I miss laughing for hours talking to him and I miss things feeling normal. I miss him calling me when he can't sleep and I miss being about to talk all the time. I miss Katt Williams texts. I miss him. I wish he was here or I was there or something. I just wish I could give him a hug and things would be ok. I love that kid with all my heart.