I called Nick. It was good. Sometimes talking to him is good. It makes me feel like no matter where I am in the world one thing will always be normal and constant. I miss him. I miss us. It’s hard to move on from a relationship, from being in love with someone when you don’t feel like you are apart from them. Even across the ocean I still feel as though I am right there. Its almost like nothing has changed since I was staying with him my freshman year of high school. If it just takes time to move on from a relationship, why am I not over it? I figure there are two potential outcomes… We will either end up together, or I will find someone else. Those are really the only two out comes. I guess the problem is, we talked about maybe picking things back up when I get back… Nick said this. Who knows if that will happen. Who knows if this will be something I will want. We shall see.
I have been watching The Middle Man. I love that show! I’m so sad they canceled it. It was a great show. Download it off of Itunes. You won’t regret it. In fact you will thank me for having you do it. I met one of my friend’s girl friends this past weekend. I loved her. She is just like all of the girls that I hung out at Bmont. She is awesome! She is moving here in Jan. It will be cool to have someone here that I feel is like me. It would be cool to have a friend that I feel like really likes me. I mean my friends here like me, but I’m nobody’s favorite. Where as back home I am Elly’s favorite and Amy’s favorite! So I have people who love me more than anyone else. Which is a good feeling. It’s awesome to know that you are someone’s best friend, that they love you and want what’s best for you. I love that there are at least 2 people in the world who would rather be with me than other people. I know it sounds dumb but it’s the one thing that I feel the most insecure about. It just seems like everyone else has a person that loves being around them all the time. I wanna have someone that feels that way about me too.
Speaking of which, I really wish there was someone in my life. I miss being with Nick a lot. More than that, I miss being with someone. I miss having a boyfriend. I miss waking up next to someone; I miss spending time with someone who loves me. I miss being with someone. Which may be lame. But this blog is going to be lame. Because I have been feeling lonely. So that means that I have been feeling lame. Silly? Maybe, but its how I feel and you have chosen to read this, which means I can torture you with my problems.
Anyway, I love you all!
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So um... did you forget about all the times he acted like a nimrod and an emotional brick wall? Impenetrable! Closed off! One thing is certain, we can't fix people. I think he needs a lot of fixing. You don't. Go be your fabulous self with someone equally not-in-need-of-fixing. :D
ReplyDeleteAlso, I think the "More than that..." part in your last paragraph is tell tale.
Also, you should try reading a book. Because being in love with book characters is so delicious. Currently I am in love with Mau from Terry Pratchett's Nation. Oh how I wish I crash landed on his island!